There are so many ways to ‘fake it til you make it’. Sometimes you can fake your actions, attitude and actually everything from your outward behaviour and your thoughts. You will realise that your body releases certain chemicals and is also ‘taken in’ by the changes you have made. ‘Faking it’ is a great way of making it in life! Intrigued? Do read on!

Imitating somebody you aspire to be like:

When you have an idea of what you want to do with your life, look for a person who is already successful in that sphere and copy them! Then go a step further.

Don’t just think about imitating that person. Think about what it would feel like to be that person. How would you dress? How would you behave? What would you wear? How would you talk to people? What would your priorities be?

The gritty reality is that everyone has down days, but ask yourself what contributes to keeping them on on top of their game most of the time. Sit down and talk to them, ask questions, take notes, and then do something. Chances are that if you’ve known this person for a while, you have a fairly good idea of how they do things differently in life.

Taking action is the key here. Do not just ask repetitively, admire and respect what they are doing in an abstract way. Do something to change your life. Make a list. Make a timetable. Stick to it. Prioritise. Try to manage your time better. (See my ‘Time Management’ post for tips and tricks on this. Coming soon!). Change your habits. A very wise person said that if you change your habits for 40 days, you’ll end up changing your actions for a lifetime. Aim for 40 days, take one day at a time.

When you feel your old habits returning, don’t allow them to surface. Smile and Keep Calm and Carry on. This is faking it. You’re pretending that this new you is you. Any reactions or emotions you don’t want people to see, talk to someone close to you about or write it down. This is part of your persistence in getting it right. Try to hide the part where you get it wrong!

Most importantly I think, is the realisation that you can take control of your own life. If you feel some emotional baggage is holding you back then think about taking an NLP course (Neuro Linguistic Programming) or, if you’re muslim, take this highly recommended life coaching program. Take ownership of your situation. Realise that each day, each week is taking us closer to the reality of our own ending! You don’t want to be in a situation where you regret how you’ve spent your days here on Planet Earth! You don’t want to be one of those people living vicariously through your children, as you warn them to ‘cease the day’ before it’s too late.

Disclaimer: I definitely don’t advocate being superficial and fake for the benefit of others. Be real. Be yourself.

Faking acceptance

So how do you fake acceptance?

It’s when something happens that you’d like to reserve judgement over but it’s difficult.

When you’re in a close relationship with somebody, it could be a friend, a spouse, a sibling, an in-law…anyone really and then a particular situation occurs and your mind immediately tells you this relationship isn’t worth it. If it was, why would that person hurt you so much?

Well, faking acceptance here means to pretend everything is hunky-dorey and not to take things at face value. Delay judgement. Make excuses for that person. Maybe that person has a reason they acted a certain way but it hasn’t come to light yet. You will preserve your relationship with that person beautifully if you give yourself time to think things over and not react straight away. Then, when you’ve had a chance to think things over, you can decide whether this person has crossed a boundary that makes you uncomfortable and whether you need to talk about this so it doesn’t occur again. Most of the time, if you put yourself in that person’s shoes you can understand the reality of where they were coming from and this realisation will make you feel a whole lot better if you didn’t react immediately to the situation!

Remember love languages? This emphasises how one person can feel hurt if they are treated a certain way and the other person wouldn’t have a clue because they’re not speaking the same language!

So interestingly, here are 8 ways to fake it that are scientifically proven to work:

1. Scientists have found that if you want to lift your mood, you should force yourself to smile. This is amazing, isn’t it? I’ve noticed how true this is when used on children.  If something funny happens in a tense situation, it usually just lifts everyone’s mood, even if they don’t want to smile and laugh!  The mere act of smiling changes the chemistry in their bodies. Fascinating.
2. Adopting a powerful posture can affect your body chemistry.  So holding your head up high and lifting your chin up in an adverse situation really will work to enhance your mood and your capability to cope with certain situations.
3. Expecting to know correct answers can actually improve our test-taking abilities. Who knew that  positive mental attitude can take you so far!?
4. Particular clothes associated with particular jobs can improve the wearer’s performance.  This is so interesting to me – remember my ‘Get up dress up and show up’ philosophy?  There is actual evidence to prove that it works! A painter works better in his overalls, a cook works better in the correct attire and that’s why I’ve always advocated a homemaker to wear suitable clothing even if their work is at home.  Yes, we can embrace the freedom of having pyjama days without anybody knowing (woohoo!), but dressing as though ready for a day of work can definitely make you more efficient.
5. Listen to a happy melody.  The interesting point here is that if you decide to uplift your mood by listening, it actually works to a greater extent! Also, singing has been proven to lift the mood, but that’s for another post altogether!
6. Mimic good leaders.  This is when somebody is put into a role that they’re not altogether comfortable with, or they feel is out of their depth but then do really well if they imitate a successful person. This works for any role you play in life, whether it’s motherhood or being a good daughter- look to those around you who are doing it well and copy them.
7. Feign romantic interest. This is so interesting.  Basically it’s like a cycle- the more you act interested, the more they reflect your feelings, the more you actually become interested.  I’ve noticed this can be the same with friendship groups- the more you ‘fake’ making an effort with a friend, the more they will reciprocate, the closer you become! Don’t ask me why you’d want to fake either of these! Sometimes, I guess, there is a need – maybe when you’d rather think with your brain than your heart. Let me know if you understand this!
8. Fake confidence to gain influence.  You’ll have to read the article to fully understand this but the gist of it is that if you concentrate on telling people your ambitions and make out like you’re oozing confidence, it makes people more trust more in your capabilities of getting a job done.

See this article for more fascinating details on this!

That’s it! So, let me know what you think about this post. Has ‘faking it’ ever worked for you? I’d love to hear your stories! Has it ever not worked? Do comment below to let me know!

Until next time then,

Peace and love,

Sidra ❤

PS To help me on my journey to enoughism I will write down 3 things I am grateful for at the end of each post.  These are:

1. As part of my writing course, we’ve been told to write ‘morning pages’. These are not always done first thing in the morning (!) but are an amazing way to clarify one’s mind and to get one’s thoughts in order for the day. The idea is to write 3 sides of any notebook – it doesn’t matter what size for now- and do not read it back. Especially not at first. I am very grateful for these in my life! Try it yourself and see how you like it. I’ve found it to be very therapeutic.

2. I’m so grateful that spring is nearly here! There is a saying which goes ‘March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb’. We certainly felt the roaring of the lion, with the Beast From The East! Let’s hope we’ll hear the soft and gentle baa’ing of the lamb on its way out.

3. My daughter Miss Craft’s business is taking off! If you’re interested in ordering some freshly baked cakes and live in the local area, do let me know and let your eyes and tongues be dazzled and tantalised by her wonderful, colourful and yummy cakes. Mmmmm 😋.

Since you’re here I have a small favour to ask. More people are reading the the7ofus.blog than ever but advertising revenues are non-existent. And unlike many lifestyle magazines, I haven’t put up a paywall – I want to keep my writing as open as I can. So you can see why I need to ask for your help. These posts take a lot of time and hard work to produce. It would be amazing if you could help fund me by donating a coffee a two to keep me going! Please press here to give.