Resilience

Hey lovely readers,

I’ve been meaning to write this blog post for a while. What can I say? Life gets in the way of all things bold and beautiful, even writing!

So. Resilience.

This attitude of bouncing back no matter what, of trying harder no matter what obstacles are in the way, of not giving up no matter what, is the message of this post.

Failure is not what matters here. The crucial aspect of this failure is whether you’re able to get back up again.

On writing, Margaret Atwood gives this advice,

‘You become a writer by writing, there is no other way. Do it, do it more, do it better, fail, fail more, fail better…

Margaret Atwood

(Master Class Ad)

I love that part. Fail. Fail more. Fail better.

I totally believe in that part. Failing better means you don’t fail as badly, you’re improving. You do this by not giving up. You achieve this by practising what you know, being open to finding out more and gaining more experience. No matter what it is you’re trying to achieve, there will always be people who have trodden the same path before you. Seek these people out. Learn from them, speak to them so that you don’t end up making the same mistakes as them. Learn to fail better and then one day, you’ll realise you’re not failing anymore,

I recently got a job as a TA for a child with mental health problems and consequently, my daily life was suddenly so full of incidences, I could’ve filled a daily newspaper.

When the going got tough, I was reminded by multiple people, that since I worked for an agency I had no loyalty due to the school (or indeed the child) and I could leave whenever I wished.

If only it were that simple.

Then one person told me to remember my ‘why’. What motivated me? Why was I there? Did I really want to make a difference in the child’s life, or was I there simply to make a bit of extra cash? Hmm, it was a tough one.

On this occasion I decided to stick around At the end of this week I’d reassess the situation. Yes I stayed. I tried to pick myself up; become resilient, but the next time a major incident occurred I was out of there. You see, resilience is important but so is self preservation.

I was glad I stayed, even though it was just a week more in the end, this helped me feel stronger. It was empowering to think that, yes, it was a tough job, but I wasn’t going to run away just because I couldn’t handle it.

When I did end up leaving, it was with the knowledge that I’d given it my best shot and wasn’t willing to sacrifice my own safety and love and attention to a child who needed more care than I could offer.

Never mind. I wish the school and child all the best and there are no hard feelings between us.

The self preservation thing is key, if I want to own my choices and not feel like a victim in this matter.

Hey, I’ve finally written this post! That’s resilience for ya! Hope everyone is well and happy,

Have you ever had to show resilience in a difficult situation? What happened? Do share!

So that’s it from me for now,

Until next time,

Peace and Love,

Sidra Ansari

PS To help me on my journey to enoughism I will write down 3 things I am grateful for at the end of each post. These are:

1. Learning that there are many ways to show strength.

2.

I’m currently reading a collection of essays in a book called ‘It’s not about the burqa’ collected and edited by Mariam Khan and available on Amazon.

I am grateful for this.

From the book’s blurb, an extract:

When was the last time you heard a Muslim woman speak for herself without a filter? Or outside the white gaze? On her own terms? Or outside the narrative built around us by the media and governments?

We’ve listened to a lot of people talking about who Muslim women are without actually hearing Muslim women. So now, we are speaking. And now, it’s your turn to listen.’

Intrigued? You should be. Get it from your favourite book store now! And let me know what you think. To say it’s refreshing and timely is an understatement. These voices have never been heard before. They are a much needed narrative in a world where everyone seems to have an opinion about how Muslim women dress, for example. I think true liberation of the Muslim woman lies in no expectations and the freedom to be who we want to be, without any judgment, without taking away our religious attire (which, by the way, nobody has forced us to wear!).

3.

Little baby Cuddles has discovered a love of books! It’s so lovely to see. I’m so grateful for another chance of passing my love of reading onto the next generation. Another chance to revisit Peter Rabbit, The Gruffalo, The Hungry Caterpillar and then later on Narnia, The Railway Children and Roald Dahl to name but a few. I love the classics and it is at this stage that I’m able to share my favourites, later on they develop their own tastes, and they’re not necessarily the same as mine! Enjoy classical book love, whilst you can. Happy reading, with your loved ones!

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