Patience @ The Time of Crisis

Hello dear readers,

How are you all on this freezing cold day? Hope you’re all well, snuggled up by the fire and warming yourself up with a mug of your favourite hot drink.

If not, I hope you’re at least relaxed and happy my dears.

So, I heard recently that one is only truly patient during a calamity if the patience is shown in the exact moment that the hardship is endured. Apparently anyone can be patient afterwards! And this threw me.

I have been through a lot over these last few years, as you can imagine, with house moves and babies galore but I always took my time getting used to a certain situation. I had to always talk myself round to the fact that ‘everything happens for a reason’, and that ‘there is wisdom behind everything’ or even ‘it wasn’t meant to be’.

I recently applied for a job role I felt would be really good for me. Two jobs actually, now I come to think of it. And both times I was rejected. I don’t usually use negative language so I need to change that. Both times I managed to move on and find something else. AlhamduLillah, there’s no need to feel too bad for me because I found out I got a job today – third time lucky and all that! But the process was actually more difficult than I thought it would be.

When I was younger, it was relatively easy to find a job. I worked many part-time jobs whilst I was studying at university and I guess, because of the fact that I had a lot of experience I managed to get new jobs quite easily. Then, I got married and had kids. And then there was a biiiig gap, full of child-rearing, dirty nappies with the longest, most testing, twenty-four hour job ever, in the world, and coming back into the ‘working’ (read ‘paid working’ world!) was so difficult. When asked if I had experience with children, I wasn’t expected to talk about my own 56,940+ days experience with my own children. No. I had to relate all the time I spent looking after others’ children. Because that’s what actually counts. Crazy, I know! So anyway, once accepted back in I’m hoping it’ll all be smooth sailing from now on, but who knows?

I’ve gone off on a tangent again, haven’t I?

What I actually wanted to say was that I realised that the rejections wouldn’t define me as long as I carried on. If I continued searching, for as long as it took for me to find something I was happy with, my job search wouldn’t be a failure. And the moment I found out I was unsuccessful the best thing to do it to show total trust in Allah, accept it and move on.

Wow. What a lesson.

I tried to do it yesterday and it just made my hubby laugh. It felt like I was being extra good. Like I was being watched on a live stream feed and had to mask my real emotions! No reason to rant and rave. To accept in the moment was a real test. Of course, as soon as I accepted the situation calmly, I rang my mum and dissected the whole interview! – we spoke about what could have been done differently and all the possible reasons I didn’t get through it. And then we sighed. And ended the conversation with, ‘Well, it just wasn’t meant to be, was it?’ And I thought to myself, what a challenge to start with that and trust in the Almighty completely and utterly so that there’s no second-guessing actions and intentions but purely accepting there and then and realising that He is the One in Control, He is the Provider (Al-Razzaq) and the Most Loving (Al-Wudud) and will always do what’s best.

What a completely new lens with which to view the world!

How much heartache would be avoided? How much would we learn for our mistakes and failures? No regrets! Just a learning curve. Learning to accept in the moment.

Have you ever had a moment when you truly accepted everything when something went wrong? How did it make you feel? Or did you struggle to accept the situation and take your time accepting it?

I think there are three stages of acceptance:

1. To not accept it all! Question the wisdom and regret things. Kick yourself thinking that you are the only one in control of your own destiny,

2. To accept after a little while of second-guessing what you could have done differently. To realise the Almighty is in control after a little reflection and time to think over the events.

3. To accept the situation in the moment you hear about it. And this is the best of all.

May Allah help us be of those who are truly content with His Will, knowing he looks after us with His Gentle Care (for He is Al-Latif).

What number do you think you’re at? Let me know! Hopefully we can help each other improve as we go along this journey that is life.

You can get in touch via the contacts page on this blog, through the comments below or even on Twitter.

Take care my dears, it’s always great to connect with you guys,

So that’s it from me for now,

Until next time,

Peace and Love,

Sidra Ansari

PS To help me on my journey to enoughism I will write down 3 things I am grateful for at the end of each post. These are:

1. To walk without a stick. I saw a lady the other day just hunched over and struggling to walk outside. I thought, subhanAllah what a blessing it is to be able to walk without an aid.

2. To be able to drive to work. I’ve actually managed to get a job at a school I worked at previously, to gain some work experience, when I first got married. Back then I had to walk there and it took me around 35-40 minutes. Today, in this cold weather, I drove. A teacher inside complained of the minimal parking spaces outside, I laughed to myself and thought it was definitely better than walking there!

3. A TA role! I’m grateful for the job that I got today. It isn’t what I would’ve chosen for myself, but I need to believe it’s the best place for me at this time in my life. I’m not a teacher, but hey! This means no planning, marking or even supervising a whole class! Hopefully I can concentrate on my job in school hours and then concentrate on my kids when I get home- this way I will have the best of both worlds. And it’s a great way back in!

Do get in touch and let me know what you’ve been up to!

Peace & Love,

Sidra

2 comments

  1. Hi Sidra,
    Happy you found a job.
    Would love to tell you my story, I think it would be therapeutic for me and just maybe, I can finally move on with my life. I say many times that I have moved on? I highly doubt it. So, I decided to write about it, don’t you think?
    Can I write to you my story?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, why don’t you get in touch with me using the Contacts page? I’m very intrigued and at the same time I’d like to know what you require from me.
      I can be an attentive listener (I’m good at that!).
      I can point out ways in which you’ve grown and remind you that everything you’ve been through is part of your story and makes you who you are today ( this can be very annoying!!) or
      I can retell your story on my blog in order to inspire other people (I like this idea the best!). I look forward to hearing from you! Sidra x

      Like

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